Sunday, 17 January 2016

If I Were a Child


I feel like I missed a lot of my childhood. I can't remember much of it at all. Not remembering was my defence against things I'd much rather not remember. The only trouble with that is now my brain is well and truly trained not to remember things, well except the words to songs. I can tell you the words to most songs I have heard.  It's interesting that these are what I can remember because I used to sing in my head to blank out things that were happening when I was a child. 

Singing was always my greatest love as a child and still is as an adult. It was my expression and it was my protector.  If I was a child growing up in a different life and in a different time I would sing with joy. I would let my heart fill with the joy of music and sing for the world to hear. I would sing to the breeze and sing to sun, moon and stars. The music would bubble up inside me and froth over with the excitement that the sounds and words can bring. I would open my arms wide, spin and laugh, sing and be free in a very Maria in the Sound of Music sort of way.

I wouldn't be scared to do that if I were a child again. I wouldn't let other people put me down. I wouldn't care. I would share the music of the birds in the trees. I would share the joy that is all around. It would be easy to do so because I could feel that joy uninhibited by the sadness and fear that I felt when I was a child. I would let my voice ring out all the love I have inside me. 

That's what I would do if I were a child.




This post was inspired by this week's #WASO title at the Adoption Social. Pop over and have a read. http://theadoptionsocial.com/category/weekly-adoption-shout-out/

4 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that your childhood was so traumatic... Not only because of all you went through, but also because of that beautiful singing voice that wasn't heard!! Do you sing like this now?

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    1. Singing was my salvation as a child. I sang all the time and sang in choirs and in shows. I did three years as a Redcoat singing every night and sadly that gave me vocal nodules. The nodules have gone but my voice hasn't ever fully recovered and I often lose my voice. With treatment that has improved a lot but it's impacted heavily on my voice so it's not up to choir standard or any sustained singing now. It's like having my arm cut off in some ways because my joy is in singing. Katie and I are going to go to singing lessons together partly to give her moral support (she has a lovely voice) and partly to try and retrain and strengthen mine again. I'd like to join a Rock Choir or something fun like that. I think my choral days of high soprano singing are over but I'm hoping I can enjoy my voice again and find that joy again.
      Xxx

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  2. I joined a weekly choir a couple of weeks ago and feel I've regained a part of my soul. Just do it!!

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    1. That sounds fantastic. I joined one for a while but I have some throat problems that impacted heavily on my singing and had to stop. One day if I can strengthen my voice again I will join a choir again. For now it's concerts in the car😃

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