Night Night

I'm having a little emotional moment tonight.

I've just crept into Katie's bedroom, as I have done every night (except for three nights) for the past three years, to give her a sleepy night night kiss. I love watching her sleep.  She is so beautiful. So at peace. I kneel by the side of her bed and gently stroke her hair; kiss her on the forehead and whisper how beautiful she is and how much I love her. Sometimes I apologise for getting things wrong during the day and promise to be a better Mummy tomorrow. Sometimes she reaches out and takes my hand and some nights she snuggles into me for a brief moment. It's one of my favourite times of the day. I can go to bed happy that she is sleeping peacefully and that she knows how much I love her.

So why the tears tonight?

Tonight is the last night Katie is going to sleep in her toddler bed. 

She's outgrown it. She has so many teddies on there with her that there's no room for her anymore and tomorrow Daddy and I are putting together her fab new Big Girl Bed. It's a white and pink and purple dream.  It has a little tunnel over the top and a little playhouse underneath it. 

It's the underneath bit that has brought the tears. This bed is a mid-sleeper. I won't be able to kneel by her bed anymore. I will have to stretch up and get inside the tunnel.  She won't be able to reach out and snuggle me.  She's going to be a big sister. She's growing up. She's having the bed to prove it.

I'm so excited for her but I'm a little bit sad for me. I'll miss my little night night ritual.