Saturday, 13 April 2013

Whirlwind!

 Talk about a whirlwind! The Katie household is a hive of activity preparing for the arrival of Katie's baby brother. Matching panel permitting it looks like our son, Pip (short for Pipsqueak) will be with us in around 6 weeks. 

There is so much to do. My head is spinning! I'm not quite sure what to do first really (although I am breathing again now and calming down a bit).

We have a major remodelling plan underway (our builder assures us he will bring it all in on time) for the upstairs of our chalet bungalow to include making our bedroom bigger and adding lots of wardrobes plus and en-suite and replacing our upstairs bathroom plus moving the childrens bedroom doors forward to allow standard size doors (and stair gates) to be used not to mention all the gubbins required for a baby.  I've been having major fun on Ebay and receiving bundles and packages in the post on a daily basis. My long coveted Out and About Nipper 360 Buggy in a gorgeous red is sitting in a spare bedroom waiting to be assembled. I'm currently bidding on a baby changing unit (I won a baby sling yesterday) and have tons of clothes waiting to be delivered. Friends have been donating play items for our little man.  I still have Katie's cot bed (which she is currently still in until her big girl bed arrives) and just need to get a new mattress and some boy bedding. I have been given some lovely Grobags which I can't wait to see him wearing at night.

We are just waiting for a date for Matching Panel and meeting with his Foster Carer. Our little boy is totally gorgeous and currently 5 months old and meeting all his milestones. There is no need to delay (other than the major building works) in bringing him home. I want him here NOW thank you very much!  I am going to find a toy that we can record our voices on to give to him before he meets us so he can get used to hearing our voices and am going to find a toy we can put our pictures on. Introductions shouldn't take more than a week and then I will be in charge of a baby!

Yikes!!!! I'ver never had a baby full time before. So much to learn and panic about!!. I'm entering a world of bottles and sterilisers (the latter of which has just arrived) and dribbles and learning to crawl.  Luckily I have one friend who is a Community Nursery Nurse and one who teaches Child Care plus lots of friends on hand who have visited baby-land before. I should be fine (she says crossing her fingers tightly). Nappies I can do. Cuddles I can do. Playtime I can do. Winding and settling to sleep I can do. Sterilising bottles I can learn. The rest will be learning about my little man and what he needs although I would love to know of any suggestions or "must haves" to help me on my way.

Katie doesn't know much yet. She knows there is a baby boy coming to join us soon who is going to be her brother. She knows how old he is and she is currently preparing herself by carrying her Baby Born everywhere with her. We are talking lots about what a baby might need and about her role as Big Sister! What she doesn't know is some of the bigger information. She doesn't know his name and I still can't say it but I'm sure you might be able to read between the lines if I tell you that we've known about the possibility of this match for quite some time (around 5 months in fact). There is only one reason that adopters might know something like that.  Once I'm able to tell Katie the news then I can do an official unveiling here. All I will say is he is a perfect match for our family. There was nothing to consider or could put us off. We didn't even need to read the Permanence Report before saying "Yes" (although it has been read thoroughly and with great sadness at the circumstances that have led to the little fella needing to be adopted).

It's all a big change. It's going to impact on us all. I worry about the impact on Katie and how she is going to feel and react. I am expecting lots of jealousy once the initial excitement subsides We've seen some signs of regression already with Katie becoming more baby-like and a recent tummy bug has left her having accidents in her pants again. I worry about the impact on my Nephew CF (Crazy Frog) He has struggled with us bringing Katie into our family because he spent a lot of time with us pre-Katie. My sister is a single parent and needs some time to herself so we often have CF to stay. Pip is going to be in the bedroom that CF usually stays in so we've been making plans about where CF will sleep in the future. Whose bedroom will he share? We want him prepared as well but will need some time to sort ourselves out before he comes to stay I think. We need Pip settled first but we don't want to unsettle or upset any of the other children in our lives. This will impact on CF and my sister. What will our cats think of this new arrival? Some might say I worry too much about everybody and there is a part of me that thinks that people having birth children don't always have to put as much thought into these things as an adopter does, but it is just the way I am. I want to try and prepare everybody for the transition as much as possible.

I'm going to lower my voice and speak quietly about the changes for me and Daddy as well because I feel a little guilty mentioning this. I've had time on my own since September. I have the school days to myself. There is a part of me that has missed all the things that Katie and I used to do but I've also enjoyed having time to write and do my housework and enjoy the odd latte with friends. My "me time" will shrink again significantly. I will probably be able to make it to my tap dancing class and even participate in our forthcoming shows but my Reiki healing circle will have to have a little break until our routine is established and I know when Pip will be asleep etc and would be ok if he woke up and it was just Daddy here. I will miss my Reiki group. We have been meeting together for a long time and they are a big part of my life but it won't be forever.  Daddy will be coming home to a busier, tired and even more distracted Mummy so his routine when coming home from work will be effected.  Daddy and I have our evenings established when Katie is in bed. Pip is apparently sleeping through the night but does he have a late night bottle? We don't know this yet. There will need to be some reshuffling. Don't get me wrong. There is no complaint but simply an awareness and preparation for the changes ahead.

One thing I have been able to do this time round is influence how Pip is weaned. It won't be long until he will start being introduced to solid food and there are various ways people choose to do this. I want to try baby-led weaning. This is currently considered one of the best ways of weaning your child and, hopefully, having a child who eats a balance and variety of foods. It also overcomes issues of the gag-reflex getting confused with lumpy food mixed with puree. People are already giving me conflicting stories about this but I am going to try it.  I felt confident enough this time to ask our Social Workers to pass this request on to Pip's Foster Carer.  I feel more confident about a lot of things this time round. I understand the process more and know our family routine more and am not afraid to ask for what I think we need.

We are lucky that Pip's SocialWorker was also Katie's SW so we have an established relationship with her. Our new Matching Social Worker seems really nice and definitely seems on the ball. Both are responding quickly to email communications from me and helping to push things forward. We were able to meet with the Social Worker who was working with Pip's Birth Parents before Pip's birth and since so we were able to receive lots of information around the circumstances that have led up to Pip's adoption. I am hoping that we will be able to meet with Pip's Birth Parents. We weren't able to do that with Katie and I very much hope that it can happen this time.

Much to do. How much time will I have to indulge my passion for writing? I don't know but I will reflect that I initially started writing this blog as a way of keeping family and friends up to date with our introductions with Katie and now I will be able to do that again with Pip. Wow! How much has happened in that time!


20 comments:

  1. Ooooh its all so exciting for you all. Enjoy the preperations x x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jeanette. I'm having a great time!! xx

      Delete
  2. Awesome! Congratulations! My boy came to me at a similar age - I never used a changing station to be honest, but I did find a Bumbo with a tray useful when the time came. Try to borrow one if you can though (I got mine second hand) because he won't be in it long! But it does mean that you can be doing things in the kitchen or nipping to the toilet for instance, secure in the knowledge that he's safe and can still play with his toys. I also used it for early weaning as it was just me and him so we didn't necessarily sit up at the table (we did baby-led as well).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the tip. I've seen the Bumbo as other friends have had them. I've been hearing mixed comments about how the effect the baby's back and am now unsure what to do about it but I do have a lovely highchair that I'm just about to put together and a travel cot that I can also use as a play pen. We've been given so many things like baby bouncers etc that I can't wait to see him in them all LOL xx

      Delete
  3. So exciting. Don't worry so much about every detail - try and just go with the flow. Can't wait to read all about Pip. xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I do try not to overthink things but it's one of those daily battles. I don't know that I worry really badly but I do think about things. I tend to worry about other people more which is fruitless really. At the moment I'd said I'm more concerned about getting the building work done than getting things ready for Pip. We're making good inroads on that front at least. xx

      Delete
  4. It's so close now, I can't believe it!! You sound like you are well on the way to the house being ready, and having everything you need to welcome Pip into your home and lives :)

    I can totally understand your concerns over the impact it will have on your nephew. We used to have our niece stay quite regularly before I fell pregnant and I grew very attached to her. Unfortunately due to my pregnancy and how hard the first 18 months of Oscar's life have been for us emotionally and physically, I have felt hugely guilty about the lack of time and energy we have had for her. I was worried constantly and am so relieved to finally be getting to a place where we can start spending much more time with her again. And this was ultimately one of the major factors I considered when trying to decide if we should adopt a sibling for Oscar or not. In the end I knew that with my health issues I wouldn't be able to give as much to our niece if we had two children than if we had just the one. Which is why we've decided to remain a one child family, at least until Oscar is much older (say 10) and our niece is grown up, because she is as important to me in many way as Oscar is. When they are both older we may reconsider fostering or adoption (we're probably personally swaying more towards fostering than adopting unless things change over the next few years).

    Sorry, feel like I rambled a bit there... just really wanted to say that I completely understand your concerns over how it will change the dynamic with your nephew and how wonderful it is that he has such a strong relationship with you. I hope he, Katie and Pip have a blast as they grow up :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the ramble Amanda, it was really helpful to read. Bringing children in to a family is something that people don't often think through enough. It's easy to forget that children have feelings and might not always articulate them. I hope your health improves enough to bring more children in the future, if you still want them and aren't enjoying your freedom again too much ;) xx

      Delete
  5. Congratulations! What a big change. I'm sure it won't always be easy but it sure will be wonderful:)
    ps. i love that you take tap dancing:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lindsay!! Oh I love my tap dancing. I can see me still doing it when I'm 80! xx

      Delete
  6. So exciting, and so much going on! Really pleased for you. Thanks for sharing this with the Weekly Adoption Shout Out.

    P.S Sterilising is simple...you'll be a pro in no time at all :-) and as for must-haves - a stack of muslins on hand and pop-over bibs not velcro (they soon work out how to undo Velcro)!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL thanks Vicki!! I have a big stock of muzzies and some popper dribble bibs and pop over ones for feeding time (when he's weaning). The steriliser has arrived and is looking at me tantalisingly from its box!! I'm sure I'll have it down in now time. Still can't believe I'm going to be doing it though!! eeeek! xx

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Thank you Greta. Am hoping I'll be saying the same to you soon xx

      Delete
  8. so glad things are clicking into place despite the long to do before he arrives list - it will all happen even if it takes a little longer - the preparation before hand will all be worth it. have fun preparing x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!! I am enjoying the preparation, even if I do have a slightly manic look in my eyes!! I intend to milk every ounce of fun out of the preparations!! xx

      Delete
  9. You sound very organised mentally, knowing what needs to be done and what you want done for Pip. I'm sure there is going to be a huge change in your lives but before long it will be the norm and your routines will be re-established I'm sure. I hope you will still find time to write and share with us how things are going.

    Thanks for sharing on the weekly adoption shout. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of the things I am assured about babies at this age is that they still sleep during the day - several times in fact!! If this is the case then I will look forward to writing in one nap and doing yoga in the other. Housework? oh....better work that one in as well I think. I don't think I could stop writing if I tried - even if it is at 11pm sometimes these days xxx

      Delete