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Contact Details:

If you want to contact me then you can contact me via email or Twitter:

Twitter: @threebecomefour




  1. Having just read your blog I can only thank you for raising the worrying position of social workers trained, skilled and available to do the necessary work involved in adoption. We join you in hoping that the government recognises the constraints placed on Local Authorities through budget cuts and agree with you that whatever the legislation and guidance, if competent social workers are not there to do the work, adoptions will not proceed promptly and children will continue to wait - Sue from BASW

  2. Hi Sue. Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate it and am glad that my support for Social Workers does come through my blog. I took redundancy a few years ago from my LA Childrens Services Dept and could see first hand what the first round of cuts was doing to the department and can only imagine how it is now. I can see how our LA Adoption Team is struggling to meet the need however and can have a pretty good guess. I feel so frustrated that there are people out there wanting and willing to adopt but so many obstacles are being put in the way. It's not simply a question of speeding up the court process to get children on the adoption register. It's a multifaceted issue that needs a broader response. I'm not sure how that can be achieved without funding though without putting ridiculous amounts of strain on the already struggling Childrens Services Depts in the country.

  3. Hi Gem,

    have just come across your blog and have had to stop myself going back and back (I have a job application to fill in!!). I will delve in in the future though and am sure to comment occasionally so thought I would say hello here, before I pop up elsewhere.

    I'm Grumpy Mum, otherwise known as GM in my mostly functional family of 4. I hope you can drop by our blog sometime too.

    All the best and thank you for such well written sharing of your journey.


  4. Hi there GM and thank you for commenting on my blog. I will be heading over to read some of yours in a minute as well (whilst having my lunch). I love the name btw!! LOL

  5. Hi Gem
    I've been following your blog for a while, and find it really really helpful! I'm studying an Access to Social Work qualification, and starting University in September to train as a social worker. I'm really interested in fostering and adoption. At the moment I'm writing an assignment about why children who have been adopted should have contact (direct or indirect) with their birth family. I've read your post about writing the contact letters, and the one about the life story book, both really helpful. Just wondering, when you were going through the process of adopting Katie, were you given information about why contact was maintained, and why it would be beneficial? Random question I know, especially as its Christmas eve! (get a life Emma!)
    Emma x

    1. Hi Emma! I thought I would reply straight away otherwise I'll forget in the chaos that will be the next few days. In all honesty it is nice to take a break from prepping sprouts and carrots.

      To answer your question I would say yes we were given some info about contact and why it was important. Hubby and I have just been chatting about this to answer your question and we feel the information we were given (like a lot of other information during the process) was somewhat skewed. As adopters you tend to soak it all up because you feel that Social Workers have all the answers but, in time, you realise that this information is just part of what comes once you've adopted. We covered information around identity for an adopted child and the need that we all have to fill in all the blanks to help shape that identity. I definitely see that with Katie. I don't think we were prepared at all to write the letters - especially the first one. I don't think we were prepared for the emotions that contact brings up - wanting the best for your child but also being aware that you are the bridge for everyone. It's a big responsibilty I think. I probably beat myself up a bit too much about it all if I'm honest.

      Re Life Story Work - we had no real information about it - other than how important it was. I wasn't happy about how it all worked in our case and it's left a lot of questions from Katie. That's not necessarily a bad thing but I wish I had been more prepared on that topic.

      Ask away anything else you want to ask. I hope that helps somewhat?

      Have a lovely Christmas. I'm off to watch Merlin with a glass of Prosecco now!!!


  6. Thanks Gem, you are really helpful!!

  7. I have just come accross your diary, as I am hoping to be starting the adoption journey soon. I have been affected by IVF and miscarriages, and after closing that chapter I am preparing for the next part of the journey. Your blog is brilliant, I have found many forums negative and difficult to engage in. Thanks for writing, congratulations on reaching motherhood x

  8. Welcome to the world of Molluscum . My daughter was diagnosed about six months ago. We were told it would probably last up to five years. We were not that concerned as she only had a few. Then about three to four months ago they became enflamed and itchy. They then spread like wildfire over her whole body including her face. I read that they could cause scars. I was given something called Silvercure which did work. I just did not have enough. Now what!!! I tried apple cedar vinegar with no success. I tried iodine with no success. Eventually I came across what was in the Silvercure ointment. That company has been shut down by the FDA. I gave my daughter colloidal silver. Also in silver cure was tea tree oil. I heated up petroleum jelly known as Vaseline and added tee tree oil. I would give my daughter a two minute shower no soap or shampoo just water pat her dry and lather on the mixture. At the beginning I put it on her three to four times a day. Every night she would wear clean pyjamas. She would also have a clean change of clothes two to three times a day. All stuffed animals washed after every use as well as bedding and blankets washed every day. All this work only to find my son was also infected. I so wished I would have use the mixture on him right away. Now after finding my son was infected, we seem to finally be clear. I am tired and emotionally drained but after months of having this virus in our house maybe we will be free.

    I really hope that you can also get rid of the virus.

    1. Goodness you've tried very hard to get rid of them. I'm taking a slightly more hands off approach. I'm spraying with silver spray and moisturising with epiderm. As soon as I realised what the spots were I ensured she only used her own towel. We'll see if my son gets infected. Fingers crossed we can contain it. I'm also tackling the virus with Bach Flower Remedies to boost her fighting power.

  9. Hi Gem,

    My name is Anuj Agarwal. I'm Founder of Feedspot.

    I would like to personally congratulate you as your blog Life with Katie and Pip: Our Adoption Story has been selected by our panelist as one of the Top 100 Adoption Blogs on the web.

    I personally give you a high-five and want to thank you for your contribution to this world. This is the most comprehensive list of Top 100 Adoption Blogs on the internet and I’m honored to have you as part of this!

    Also, you have the honor of displaying the following badge on your blog.


  10. Hi Gem. I too wrote a Blog on PADS - Friends and family said I should write a book to let people know the Facts. I wrote a book called A Promise to Keep My Angel, thinking it would be cathartic, but I'm not so sure it was. Hopefully though prospective adopters will gain through my devastating loss. Anne


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