Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Feeling quite excited

I had an exciting day yesterday.  I recently contacted our Social Worker with a view to doing something to support National Adoption Week.  She passed on my details to the media team and I did a phone interview yesterday with a lady from the media team with a view to her writing a press release and us possibly speaking to our local media, including newspapers and television.  It is great to feel that I might be able to do something to bring more adopters forward.  We try to meet up with people that we know are considering adoption to answer any questions they may have and allay any fears.  I know how I hung on to every word both the adopters said that we met at our information event and our prep course.  These were real adopters who knew what it was all about.

I was sad yesterday to hear that one of those couples we have spoken to have now pulled out of the adoption process because they had been put off by the messages they gained from their preparation course.  One of the things that is very difficult about the prep course is that you hear about all the sorts of things that can go wrong with adoption, including some less desirable behaviours that some children may present with.  It is quite scary to hear some of this information and can really give you pause for thought.  I was so lucky that I had met so many adopted children prior to this course, as I think it may well have made me question my ability to parent some of these behaviours.  Would I be up to that sort of parenting?  I actually don't know anyone personally who has adopted children who has experienced these sorts of behaviours.  That reassured me more than anything else.  I was lucky though to have this resource in my life, many would-be adopters don't.  They are probably the only person in their group of friends who are approaching adoption and life infertility, this can feel so isolating.  You have to dig so deep into yourself throughout the adoption process to answer the question "Am I up to this?".  It's such a shame that so many people pull out of the process because they don't have the reassurance that, with the right support, they can be "up to it".  I find myself feeling more and more passionate about trying to help people with this.  How do I do this?  I am still working on that one but I hope doing some media work might help a little.

A little closer to home, one of my big tasks this week is to write contact letters for Katie's birth family.  I confess to being a little late doing this and I need to get on with it.  We had a late holiday and life has just been so busy, and I admit that I've delayed a little as I do find the letters hard to write.  Trying to get a balance of what to include is so difficult.  I want to inform her birth family of her progress and things they might want to know about her so that they can get a good picture of her life but I also don't want to appear smug or make them feel bad.  Trying to chose some photos to send it also delaying this a little as I want to try and ensure that I send some nice pictures but ones that don't identify her too much, just to make sure her security is ensured.  This is one of the things that I find quite tough.  Wish me luck.........

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