Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Power........waiting for the phone to ring and The Politics Show!

I'm feeling a little bit irritated today if I'm honest. It's amazing how quickly that feeling has returned and I did say that I was going to remain above it all this time and not get annoyed or frustrated.  What I'm irritated about is the same thing that irritated me last time.  Power.  Waiting for someone else to decide, with very little information I might add, whether we are going to be taken forward for a preparation course.  Actually getting an initial home visit is the first step before even that.  Someone, who hasn't even met our family as we are today is sat in an office deciding if they think we are ready to add to our family.  How can they make that judgement without even meeting us?  It frustrates me so much.  It's all about numbers.  It's only been 18 months since Katie was placed with you - you aren't ready to add to the family.  As I pointed out in our conversation, we're not looking to add to the family today - we're thinking in about 18 months time.  Let me see, that means Katie will have been placed with us for 3 years at that point.  I do have huge respect for the job that Social Workers do.  They want the best for the children that they are working alongside.  They want to make sure that they place a child in a placement where it has the highest chance of working out but this negativity seems endemic within the profession.  Are they testing the mettle of would-be adopters?  Is it right though to be so negative and off-putting to someone who is interested in becoming an adopter but needs more information?  Surely there are more supportive ways to introduce some of the difficulties that may lie within being an adoptive parent?  This could be explored in the home study much more on a one-to-one basis and concerns discussed in a more private setting.  I hear stories of so many potential adopters pulling out after their preparation course because it's put them off too much.

There is so much in the media with the build up to National Adoption Week about changes the government wants to see in the adoption process.  Speeding the process up.  Thinking more about the needs of the children in care.  You'd think they would be biting off our hands wouldn't you?  Adopters are so rare and so much negativity and so many obstacles are placed in the way before you even meet a Social Worker.  It is hard to remain detached as I'm exampling today.  I try to take a spiritual approach and I believe that everything happens in the time it's supposed to happen in but that doesn't stop me getting irritated at feeling like I'm being treated with disrespect and dismissal.

I've added a link to a programmed called The Politics Show.  This is this week's London edition and had a very interesting segment on Adoption at 41 minutes.  They talk about how prospective adopters are being put off adoption by initial negativity and also because of attempts to match racial mixes exactly. It sounds like it's an issue that is being recognised and, hopefully, addressed.

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