Verbal Diarrhea....

"A condition suffered by an individual who 
has the inablility to shut the f*** up, 
I.e the words keep flowing." 

I would imagine any parent of a 4 year old (or younger or older - ok pretty much any child once they can learn to speak) can give testament to the incredibly draining condition known as Verbal Diarrhea. I won't use the acronym for obvious reasons.......

For the past month or so Katie has excelled in talking non-stop.  It is relentless; never ending; a constant barrage of noise and sounds.  When she isn't talking, she is singing; at the top of her lungs.  At home; in the car; when she's supposed to be going to sleep; in our bed in the morning; as I'm writing this blog entry.  There is no place on earth that's off limits.  Jill Murphy really summed it up when she wrote Five Minutes Peace. That is how I'm feeling, right at this minute, whilst I'm doing my own version of verbal diarrhea.  

Some of it is quite amusing.  Katie's version of Adele's "Bloomer Has It" is something to behold. Many of her songs are mash-ups of various songs, usually Adele,Glee or Maroon 5 at the current time (guess what we have in the car at the moment?).  Some of the singing is unrecognisable and I have to admit can beome really really irritating when sung very loudly. The general idea behind the singing, I suspect, is to be as annoying as possible in order to gain as much attention as possible.  As I write this, Katie is rolling around on the floor on her space hopper singing some random lyrics 

very loudly..... 

I'm doing my best to ignore her for Five Minutes.

I'm relatively chilled out about the level of noise.  Most of the time.  I have to admit though that every so many weeks I find it intolerable. I'm sure you know when I mean. That time when it's a real challenge to be the sort of mum that I aspire to be.  That time when I'm tired and grumpy and very noise sensitive.  Usually around that time I get a migraine sneaking up on me and I'm even more noise sensitive.  Non of this matters to a child of course.  They don't really care that you're head is banging or that your nervous system is about to rise to Defcom 5.  I do my best to try and keep business running as normal but every so often I really want to let rip and shout out.......

SHUT THE F*** UP!!!!

Of course I don't and I'm very proud of myself that Katie has never heard me say the "F" word.  I don't use it that often, particularly since becoming a mum (mostly because I'm afraid I will say it in front of Katie!).  I promised myself that I would never tell my child to "shut up".....I guess this is the moment where I give a very guilty look and raise my hands up towards my shoulders and say........Please forgive me....I'm only human. I did say "Please just shut up for a moment" though if that makes it any better.  Those words have passed my lips on a couple of occasions.  I do try and say it in other ways.....i.e. "Can you sing/talk in your inside voice please?" or........"Can you try and play a bit more quietly for a while please".   I have been known to use the Ross signal for bringing the noise levels down. If nothing else it gives me a giggle.  I try to help her find her volume control in her body and we try talking in whispers. All of this only works for around 10 seconds before the volume is back up again.  Thing is,I know that when she's a teen and has stopped talking to me other than grunting noises, I will miss all this chatter and non-stop randomness.

Katie did comment to me yesterday, when I said to her I would give her a sticker for good listening..."What's listening?".  If that it what I'm dealing with can you blame me for occasionally asking her to "Please Be Quiet For One Minute"? I still hold firm to my other resolution though and that is not to ever say "You're stupid"!  I am very good at naming the behaviour and not labling the child.

Ok, I'm a little tetchy at the moment. Three guesses why..........


  1. I've just had an evening of the same. It's 8.30 now and she's 'reading' in bed. I told her that if I heard one more noise from her I would shut the door to her room - a terrible punishment. I didn't say 'shut up' tonight but I have done in the past. I'm guessing you are waiting for news on the adoption front. Good luck.

  2. Mini certainly suffers with verbal diarrhea here too!
    I have learnt after many years to zone out at times now, and get suddenly started by him shouting 'Mummy, MUMMY, are you listening to me??!'

    Like you, I'd never intended to tell him to shut up, but I have - albeit never ever phrased that way... I'm pretty sure most parents have said it at some point x

  3. Can you get any kind of ear plugs that allow in SOME level of sound but which take the edge off the overall volume level she is producing?

  4. @adoptionbliss15 June 2012 at 08:58

    Yes I'm guilty too. S*** *P has passed my lips more than once...and a couple of other things I thought I'd never say to my kids. My oldest is the one who talks incessantly and a lot of it is questions which he expects answers for. I've come to realise it's his way of constantly reminding me he is there, as if I might forget about him if he stopped for a second.I think you've done well to post a blog whilst the noise persists.Pretty sure I would have resorted to another parenting sin,"why don't you put the television on".


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