I will be honest and say that Life Story work can feel quite emotive at times. There is a part of me that wants to think that Katie's life started when we became a family. I do get a little pang in my heart around the subject. I think it's a myriad of emotions though and it's probably hard to explain eloquently. I will try as best I can.
I love Katie to the moon and stars and back again. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. There is a part of me that would love to spare Katie any confusion as she is growing up; any feelings of being different. We try to offset that possibility by ensuring that Katie knows lots of other adopted children and answering her questions to the best of our ability. There is part of me that wants to protect Katie throughout her entire life and that includes the time she wasn't and isn't with me. I'm a mother. I would roar like a lion at anyone who harmed my girl. I hate to think of anything that may have happened to her before she came to us. I can't protect her from everything though. There is part of me that wants to ensure that Katie grows up with a measured picture of her birth parents. I am never negative about them and tell the truth about them to the best of my ability and knowledge. I want Katie to grow up with a balanced and realistic picture in her mind. They are a part of what makes Katie all the amazing things that she is; as are we; as is she. She was meant to be with us but I wasn't meant to give birth to her. That I know and understand both psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.
The longer that Katie is with us, the further away her past seems in some ways but that won't necessarily always be the case for her. There may come a time when it preoccupies her mind. I can't protect her from that, I can only prepare her. That is the essence of life story work. It's all part of her life story. It is all a part of her. It's ongoing. It's not just the past. It's all part of the complex; amazing; wonderful and sometimes painful, baggage that we carry with us through our lives. How heavy that baggage is will depend a lot on us trying to get it right and on how Katie responds and reacts throughout her life.
So I'm glad that we are now taking a step to having something tangible to help us all in that journey and a big thank you in advance to the Social Woker who is creating it for us.